4/12
Am I really supposed to watch NBA Basketball now? I would rather have
vomit trickle down my TV screen than watch jim jackson on a clear out in
the fourth quarter. The NBA is about smoking blunts, banging
groupies, hot tubs, and cristal. When was the last time Kobe checked
the scoreboard for the score and not his point total? Dirk Nowitzki
is garbage. Garnett and Duncan are too good. Kareem Rush got
to hit a shot like his brother hit the bottle. The mad scientist
David Stern better have a rescue plan better than some lame ass age
limit. Yeah, its ruining the game that Kwame Brown, Eddy Curry and
Tyson Chandler don't know what a zone defense, pick and roll or the
principle of ball-you-man. And my final argument: Vin Baker, Leon
Smith, Eddie Griffin, JR Rider, Ruben Patterson. Duke vs. UConn is a must watch. Rarely anymore do you see two teams match up that have more then a few possible players that will one day play at the next level. In this game you have three lottery picks in Okafor, Gordon and Deng. Even bench players Shav Randolph and Charlie Villanueva are pro prospects. If UConn hits on all cylinders they are unbeatable, but that has only rarely occurred this year. If it's a close game, Duke may have the edge because of Duhon's leadership and the luxury of having more "go to" guys. Will Bynum and Tony Allen are best friends. Duhon and Jack are
cousins. Deng and Villanueva are former prep school teammates and
former McDonald All-Americans. Stevie Graham doesn't play but he
gets a scholarship while his twin brother Joey Graham is quickly become a
star as a former walk-on. Only in college. Chet Stachatis should be the name of a 80's rock cover band.
"I'll FOLLOW STACHATIS ANYWHERE" 3/23 I don't hate the women's tournament. But as i find myself working into the wee hours of the mornings on women's basketball webpages i ask myself this. Does anybody care? Why is ever women's game of the tournament on ESPN? why is there a women's selection show? Why do schools think women deserve the same amount of coverage as men do? Why, why, why? If it were up to me the women's tournament wouldn't be on television or
radio. The only redeeming quality it has is that it has brackets, and
brackets are good. A strange development is that people desperately want me in their tournament pool. I guess Littyhoops' The Professional is a feather in a tournament managers' cap as I add instant credibility and legitimacy to your pool. For those who would like to know what Im doing here goes. 1) The basic office pool at work ($5) By the way, I am watching a Dream Job rerun and cant figure out which
one of Stuart Scott's eyes is lame. Some help please. It looks like my pre-season champs Mizzou won't even be attending the dance this season. Yes, it is pathetic that my pick to win it all doesn't even make it into the batters box. It just goes to show you that I generate as much bullshit as the next dorky white guy who you hear yapping away about sports. I still think that Mizzou has one of the most talented teams in the
country and a great coach in Quin Snyder but let's face it; they freaking
suck. Ricky Paulding looks lost on the court most of the time,
nobody can get the ball to Arthur Johnson, they have no ball handler and
they have nobody who wants to play defense. Mizzou is 16-13, and
after giving up in the second half against Kansas tonight in a must-win
game they deserve what they are going to get, an NIT bid.
Don't ask me what happened to St. Joe's today but it was ugly. I ordered a Jameer Jersey about two months ago and it finally comes yesterday because it was so back ordered. Before i even get to try it out St. Joe's looks like the biggest pretenders since those who follow Frodo Baggins. Is Mustafa Shakur T-Mac's little brother or do they just both smoke a lot of chronic? The Big East tournament is always competitive but can be painful to
watch because of the lack of defense. Funny how the Pac-10 lacks
defense but is still kind of painful to watch. It's conference tournament time which always makes for a few great storylines for the little guys. Last year's star was IUPUI coach Ron Hunter who celebrated like he just won the lottery, found the fountain of youth, and had Telfair commit to his program all at once. So far things have played out pretty much to form. It's nice to see the most deserving teams hold serve (Liberty, East Tennessee St.) or maybe it's just painful to see a team with high expectations not punch their ticket to the dance (Austin Peay, Boston). Plus, watching some of these games gives the fan a little insight when they pick their big upsets next week. You gotta like East Tennessee as a potential giant-killer. They have a savvy, at times dominant point guard in Tim Smith and an athletic wingman in conference POY Zeke Wadood. STANFORD GOES DOWN Stanford now goes from having to live up to the expectation as a team of destiny (in which they might think they can come back anytime and do anything to win) to a team on a mission. Trust me, they are much scarier without the bulls eye on their back. I still believe that they are the best team in the country and match up favorable with anyone. I don't know if they will win it all, but they will make it to the final four.l
2/25 Chris Hunter, the awkward center who is as smooth as Elijah Ingram's jump shot,
decided to chuck up, and actually drain a 3 to put Michigan up 12 with
about that much time left against Michigan State. The game was by
far the biggest of the season, of the last seven seasons for that
matter. It was one of the few sellouts that Crisler has seen this
century. It was to be on the up side of the preverbal bubble, to
claw at the backs of Izzon's dominance of the state. It was time the
maize and blue rose to the top as they always seem to do. But all
that will have to wait since Michigan went colder than an Ann Arbor
February. Horton was his usual dazed and confused sophomore self,
Harris looked like a young freshman, Abram to quiet to be a force, and
Brown diving and only catching thin air. To sum things up, Chris
"I look like Pete Sampras" Hill drains a 3 to put the game out
of reach in the final minute and michigan's going to the stepson of them
all, the NIT. The Pac 10 doesn't play defense. It's nice that Salim Stoudamire goes around every other game scorind three dozen points but he thinks the game of basketball is a three point contest. Don't get me wrong I would pay good money to see Salim Stoudamire, JJ Redick, Blake Stepp and Francisco Garcia in a long range shootout. For the college dunk contest i would like Ishmael Mohammed on Georgia
Tech, Luke Whitehead (Louisville), Hassan Addams and Igoudoula on Zona and
Ricky Paulding. Meanwhile, on Friday night a dude from High Point (yup, that's a college) hit a game winner that was even more rediculous than Robinson's. It's too sick to try and explain but think Christian Leittner meets Trent Tucker meets Melvin Levitt meets Bryce Drew buzzer beater. Hey, if you remember all those other shots i'm sure you can picture this one. Jameer and Delonte. nuff said. A No. 14 Scarlet Hawks jersey is
in the mail on its way over to the Diego. Many things can be said about this whole St. John's fiasco starring the Pittsburgh Hooker. My favorite tidbit of information was how Elijiah Ingram whipped out his video camera phone in front of the cops. Supposedly, the ensuing cell-video wad evidence that the women was lying about accusing rape. I guess EI made the dumbest and smartest decisions of his life within a 10 minute span. The second best tidbit of information has to do with Bob Knight's tirade at a "Lubbock Salad Bar". It sound's like he got a little tipsy over too many croutons. Or perhaps, chancellor whatever his name is dripped the ranch dressing into the creamy italian. Who woulda ever thunk that Club Erotica and The Marketplace Salad Bar
would get some free advertising from the world of college
basketball. It's Transcendent.
12/06 But enough of my narcissistic ranting lets talk Hoops. Mike Jarvis has ruined the Johnnies. He hasn't recruited a decent city kid in three years. His players don't improve, his substitution patterns are stupid, Father Harrington thinks he is an arrogant bastard, his son is fat, and his head lost his shine. (That's the kind of flak you get when you lose to Fairfield and Hofstra at home.) 8/18
You may realize that their is minimal information on recruits and high school ball. The reason why I stay away from this stuff is because I leave it to the perverts to cover. For some reason there seems to be a cultish obsession with AAU teams, summer camps and recruiting news led by Grandmaster Sonny Vaccaro. I just don't get the fascination with college recruiting information. You never get to watch these kids play so you have no idea what their game is like. You also got to
have so much damn patience because you start to hear about guys when they are 15. Sebastian Telfair has been on the radar since his Bar Mitzvah. 7/09 Why doesn't a coach have to sit out a year when they "transfer" or switch schools when they still have time left on their contract? Nah, instead they leave
their players, recruits, fans and administration in the shitter. LittyHoops prayers go out to Patrick Dennahy, the Baylor basketball player who has been missing for two weeks.... Can't somebody bring him back and kidnap Donna Shalela, the president of U of Miami, of at the very least send her to Boca... Does Josh Powell, Doug Wrenn and Carl English join Taj McDavid and Omar Cook on the "Strategically Shit Squad"?...Does Marcus Hatten join Cook and Eric Barkely in "Thug Mansion"?... Can Luke Walton be as cool/dorky/lovable as Mark Madson, or even his pops (broadcaster version)? 6/25 I'm going to the NBA draft tomorrow and here are 5 thing that I'm hoping will happen 1) Lebron-Mania continues I want non-stop Lebron coverage. I want to seem him in a new throwback Cavs Jersey when David Stern shakes his hand. I want to see TNT do a lifetime tribute to Lebron. I want Lebron sitting on stage in a throne for the entire draft looking down on everyone else. I want Lebron autographs, Lebron wristbands and I want to buy a pre-copy of the Lebron book. 2) Trades Nothing is better than when the raspy little Jewish guy comes on stage after the clock has run out, adjusts the mic and goes "There is a trade." The buzz sweeps through the crowd faster than a Sonic Boom. Two years ago, when the Bulls traded their pick for Elton Brand on draft night the crowd had coroneted the Clippers as the next NBA dynasty. 3) Hatten to the Knicks The Knicks have picks 31 and 39 and this would be a great time to take Marcus. Let's see Hatten stroll up to the podium with his radiant smile and have the fans go crazy. Hatten had a poor Chicago camp but held his own in workouts. If any team is gonna take a flyer on him it might as well be the Knicks, a team that has seen him play over the last few years. 4) "FIRE LAYDEN" The pure NY crowd gets going at the draft and tries to make things fun. They boo Barkley, boo the Knicks and boo David Stern. For $15 some dudes just come to blow off some steam. 5) International Superstars I want a model UN at this draft. I want these huge funny looking European guys in tailored suits walking around everywhere not knowing English or what the heck is going
on, and the crowd having no idea who they are. I want to see Baby Shaq, Darko, Macij, Barbosa, the other 7'6" guy, the Africans, the Brazilians. I WANT IT ALL! Marcus Moore of Washington State decides to go back to college after stinking it up in Chicago which was after being hurt for most of his junior season and the media makes
him out to be as wise as King Solomon. After reading so much about Moore in the last few weeks (I admit i didn't even know who this guy was last season) it seems as though he handled
things with maturity and intelligence. He even put many reporters in their place when he explained that if he were to go back to college he would be excited to play for Coach Dick
Bennett. Hopefully Moore can have a monster season and be a top pick next year so that every reporter can pat himself on the back for advising Moore to stay. Thunder sticks are for pussies, Midwestern trash, mutes, and the French. If your not sure what I'm raving about, it is those incredibly annoying plastic blow up sticks that
when bashed together makes a noise more annoying then a New Kids on the Block beat. Although these things haven't hit college campus's, its just a matter of time before everybody in someplace
like Ames (Iowa St.) or Knoxville gets the itch to flap their arms together like 4 year olds. If you don't believe me or you think they are "neat" or something like that, wait till the
next time you get hit in the face on the back swing of a thunder stick by a 300 lb woman as she desperately tries to stay with the rhythm of your favorite jock jam song....and screw the French
just because they suck. It seems as though the NBA is dogging my man Marcus Hatten for the NBA draft, where he is projected to be a late second rounder. Do scouts watch games anymore or do they
just clock how fast you can do the shuttle run? Hatten does have flaws in his game- an inconsistent jumper, a below NBA caliber handle for a point, and no size- but c'mon. He is one
of the elite scorers in college basketball, is a constant highlight reel, has amazing defensive instinct, plays bigger than he is and creates his own shot. He proved that he can play
the point, is a winner, and is coachable. So, no i don't think he is the next AI, but he def can fill the backup point guard role on most teams, while being a tremendous spark plug.
LittyHoops says Marcus is a steal if drafted late first round, so remember YA HEAR it first on
LittyHoops. LittyHOOPS went to Wisco this weekeend to visit some buddies and saw firsthand how the risky side lives. These dude pick games as much as the Dope picks wax out of his ear. Therefore, I might go for some more Parley-Time coverage to appease the masses.
Michigan magical streak ended last night as Brian Cook and the favored Illini were too much for the Wolverines. I think Brian Cook cheats though. Basically, he has
just stayed around in college until he is better then anybody else. It's like if Michigan still had Jamal Crawford and every other team still had their best player. Basically, the
way college basketball works now is that you automatically leave after the season in which you scored your 1000 point. (The two notable exceptions matched up against each other last night as
Cook and Level Blanchard displayed their senior standing) Michigan keeps on winning. It's quite divine, really. Even Papa Litty has begun to show love for the Wolverines. This is after six years of being a die hard Indiana fan (my older sister's alma matter). Anyway, its nice to charge the court every other home game. Hatten only went for 9 points against V-Tech on Sat. That's his career low for the season. Somehow they still won though. That not supposed to happen. It akin to a season of Seinfeld, in which Jerry calls in sick and isn't in the show, yet still is #1 in the rankings. (Actually that's a horrible examples that sounds more like a Seinfeld episode than anything else). Anyway, point being....Hatten against UCONN at the Garden on Big Monday. Im counting to 40, because im keeping track of MH's scoring total. OH YEAH. Why is every game aired on ESPN so damn dramatic? On Monday night Darius Rice pulled off one of the most spectacular plays i have ever seen to win a game only to be
topped a few hours later by a twisting and turning floater put up by Hollis Price. Then on Tuesday, Tom Coverdale puts on the greatest performance ever for a player who scored 0
points. Are the games so good because they are on TV, or is college basketball better then even I assumed. 12/13 Check out the new installment of Cheat Sheet and tomorrow's picks in Parley-Time...Marcus WILL go off against Hofstra.... Shout outs to S-berg, Dick for Philly, and MBA's.
12/8
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